I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize