Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
