Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize