Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
