As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
