Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
