i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There r osticjed everywhere
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
