What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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