I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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