Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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