My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
