Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
