And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
it glows. i had to have it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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