Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
