She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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