Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
