I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
