I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So squirting runs in the family.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
