Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
