In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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