I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
