I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Holy shit dude........stairs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
