he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
