Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is wine microwaveable?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
