We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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