He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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