So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
