we're chasing vodka with high fives
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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