i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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