i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
