So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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