What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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