Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
