Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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