She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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