i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
