Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
