playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
