i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just pee around me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
