I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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