I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
