He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
