Buhtt sex?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
nutella sex= disaster
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
