I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
another moral hangover. fuck.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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