i just wanna soil my oats bro
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
