Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
