yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
