Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
