I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
