I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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