I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
