Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
