He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize