Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
