I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize