i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
