I feel like I'm in dance class right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize