Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize