haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
