all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
