After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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