just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize