what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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