it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
