Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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